Booki Chapter14
In the car, Emma’s words kept echoing in my mind.
Eight years ago, after James rejected my confession again, I finally gave up and accepted Ryan’s proposal.
Before I left, James thought I was playing hard to get. He humiliated me brutally. He called it perverse, against family values. As if trying to kill any hope in my heart, he paraded different girlfriends in front of me daily–holding hands, embracing, kissing, doing everything couples do.
Every night, suggestive sounds would drift from his room. It broke my heart. It made me sick. For many years, I couldn’t move
past that trauma.
Ryan stayed by my side through it all. He said it was okay, he would wait for me. I remember at our wedding, he cried openly: “I’ll love you forever, protect you, never let you suffer any hurt!”
Turns out wedding vows only have a seven–year shelf life.
J
Leaving the civil affairs bureau, Ryan stared at me intently: “Emma lost the baby from the shock that day. I’ve ended things
with her.”
I turned away, avoiding his eyes. Responding casually: “Oh.”
Ryan lowered his head: “And I never lied to you.”
“About that baby… I was looking forward to it too. I swear, loving only you was true.”
I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. “Ryan, lies don’t become truth no matter how many times you repeat them.”
“Whether you love me or not – does it matter anymore?” “From the day you cheated, you lost the right to speak of love.”
“You disgust me!” “Autumn… I’m sorry!!!
“Ryan, don’t appear in front of me again. Whether it’s love or apologies, I don’t want to hear any of it!”
“Let’s just end it here.”
–
Every word he spoke claimed love for me, yet every word wounded me. His love I couldn’t understand it anymore. But it didn’t matter. Whether good or bad. I didn’t care anymore. It was all over now. I was fine, and I would be fine in the future.
His eyes were red–rimmed, bloodshot, his face full of despair.
“Whether you believe it or not, I need to tell you–you’re the only person I’ve ever loved. In this life, I’ve only ever loved you.”
I waved my hand and turned to leave. He didn’t chase after me, just stood there quietly, murmuring: “I’m sorry.”
I gently wiped the tears from my face. Walking forward with determination, never looking back. Through the flowing traffic and passing crowds. Whether sorrow or love. Everything would pass.
The End.
21 12a
