Chapter 13
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I gripped my fork tighter. Why do I still remember that?
“Althea?”
Caius‘ voice interrupted my thoughts. I raised my head and found his gaze fixed on me with a thoughtful expression.
“Are you okay?” he asked. The face of the man sitting in front of me looked worried. I don’t know what he thought of me earlier, I hope he just assumed I was tired.
I smiled a little, trying to cover my confusion. “Yes. I’m just a little tired.”
Caius looked at me for a moment, before leaning back against the chair. “I can see that. You look like someone whose mind is elsewhere,” he replied with a meaningful look.
I avoided his gaze, feeling a little embarrassed for letting my mind wander that far.
“I’m just… used to working constantly. It might take some time for me to really be able to relax,” I replied while looking down, sounding a little strange indeed.
Caius didn’t respond right away. He just stared at me for a while before finally saying, “Or perhaps, you’re still used to enduring things alone?”
I paused. His words felt too right about something I had been trying to ignore.
I had lived a long life of suppressing my feelings, hiding my disappointments and wounds.
I thought that if I was strong enough, patient enough, then things would get better on their
own.
But in fact, nothing changed until I decided to leave.
“I don’t know what ever happened to you,” Caius continued, propping up his chin. “And, I won’t ask if you’re not ready to talk about it. But, one thing you need to know. Not everyone will push, or demand from you without giving anything back.”
I lifted my head, looking at him in slight surprise. He had now placed both hands on the
table.
Caius‘ gaze remained calm, with no intention of probing, or pressing. It was as if he just wanted to make sure I understood one simple thing, that I shouldn’t rush to trust anyone.
I swallowed, unsure of how to respond.
I spent five years with someone who never cared about me. And now, sitting in the presence of a completely different man, I didn’t know how to react.
“I’m not in a hurry to accept/something new,” I said finally while throwing away a few glances. My heart was pounding and I was unable to return Caius‘ gaze for long.
“And that’s fine. Everyone has their time,” he said as he nodded and leaned back.
Such a simple answer, but it somehow made my chest feel lighter.
The two of us stared at each other for a moment, before resuming dinner in a much more comfortable silence than before. No coercion, no pressure. I could be myself without feeling like I had to please anyone else.
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13:05 Wed, 28 May GWG
And for the first time in a long time, I felt that I was truly appreciated.
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As we exited the restaurant, the night breeze blew gently. I zipped up my jacket, enjoying the cool air that touched my skin.
“Thank you for dinner, Mr. Leclair,” I said turning to him.
“Caius,” he corrected casually. “We’ve been working together for some time. You can call me Caius.” He said with one eyebrow slightly raised.
I was silent for a moment before nodding. “Alright… Caius,” I said a little awkwardly.
He smiled slightly. “I’ll take you home.” He said as he stepped into his car.
“No need, I can go home by myself,” I refused while shaking my head quickly.
“There’s no point in arguing. My car is here, and you need a break after working all day,” he said pausing his steps, looking at me.
I wanted to refuse again, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good.
Without saying much, I got into his car. On the way home, I thought back to his words earlier. Maybe he was right. I was used to enduring things alone.
But, was I ready to let someone into my life again? The answer, of course, is that I don’t know. It hurts to be considered just a shadow, although not all men are like Damien.
But, I felt no need to rush for answers. I want to enjoy my life right now.
Chantar 12
