Chapter 2
If Vance hadn’t gotten drunk at the memorial for the Kreston family seven months ago, I never would’ve ended up
pregnant.
But that night, after drinking himself into a stupor, he clung to me and suddenly broke down crying.
“When our house was raided, my brother was only three. They dragged him to the gallows and cut off his head.”
“My sister was just three days away from marrying the man she loved.”
“But thanks to your father’s betrayal, she was thrown into prison, defiled by the guards, and eventually took her own life.”
“If I hadn’t been sent to grow up in a monastery, scraping by in shame…”
“The Kreston name would be reviled by the people of Asteria for generations to come. We would bear the weight of false
guilt for centuries.”
“Selene… should I not hate you?”
“But Selene… what am I supposed to do?”
I knew, deep down, that Vance was like me.
He loved me–and hated me.
Between us, there could only ever be a knot too tangled to unravel.
Lowering my eyes, I took the medicine bowl with both hands and drank the rue tonic in one gulp.
A piece of candy fell onto my lap–it was from my favorite sweets shop in the eastern district.
Vance used to buy them for me all the time.
Even if it meant waiting in line for four hours.
I held that candy in my fingers, and my eyes suddenly stung.
That was always how he was.
Whenever my heart was cold and dead, he would carelessly light a candle of hope, only to blow it out, then light it again,
and snuff it out once more.
Over and over, making living unbearable… and dying impossible.
The hand hidden in my sleeve clenched tight. I wanted to say something, but when I looked up, all I saw was Vance
walking away.
The two maids standing nearby exchanged whispers: “She’s the daughter of his worst enemy. I don’t understand why Mr. Kreston keeps her here in the castle.”
“If it were me, I’d have skinned her alive long ago–yet she’s living comfortably as the lady of the house!”
Their mocking words weren’t subtle. They wanted me to hear every bit of it.
After they left, the grand room fell into silence once more.
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Other than the candle I lighted for my child on the table, I was alone.
In the days that followed, I never saw Vance again.
The servants said Lena had caught a chill and was suffering from migraines.
Vance stayed by her side day and night, personally tending to her.
On the final day of the five–year promise, the steward of Kreston Castle pushed open my door.
“Ms. Vale wants to plant roses in the back garden. She’s instructed that you dig up all the soil there.”
I looked up abruptly.
The garden–that was where I had buried my child.
When I stumbled into the garden, I saw Lena already commanding the servants to dig up half the flowerbeds.
“Stop! All of you, stop!” I screamed, not caring how I looked.
But all the servants in the castle knew my status. None of them listened to a word I said.
I rushed up to Lena.
“Make them stop–stop right now!”
Lena waved her hand, signaling the guards beside her to pull me away.
She twirled the string of beads in her hand and let out a light laugh.
“A bastard like that doesn’t deserve to be buried in the castle garden.”
“The weather’s freezing now, and the beasts in the forest are starving.”
“Once they dig up the little bastard, tossing it into the woods will be an act of mercy.”
Her words made my vision go red with fury.
I didn’t even know where the strength came from, but I broke free from the two guards and grabbed Lena by the collar.
“Lena! You killed my child–I’ll kill you!”
I tore the brooch from my chest and drove it toward her neck.
The pin slashed her delicate skin, but a large hand shoved me from behind.
I crashed into a stone behind me, and in an instant, several swords were pointed at my throat.
Lena, startled, huddled into Vance’s arms, weeping softly.
“Vance, thank God you came in time… or I’d never have seen you again.”
Vance frowned deeply but said nothing. He just stared at me in silence.
I had no time to care about the hatred between us. I looked at him and begged: “Vance, please–please make them stop!”
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“Punish me however you want, I’ll accept it all. But that’s my child!”
“Vance, he was our child…”
I ignored the blades at my neck and crawled toward him, one step at a time, until I was kneeling in front of him.
Clutching the hem of his trousers, I choked out hoarsely, “He was a boy, Vance… He’ll never learn to ride or shoot now…”
So many nights in the past, Vance had kissed my hair and whispered in my ear, “Selene, when we have a child-”
“If it’s a boy, I’ll teach him to ride and shoot.”
“If it’s a girl, you’ll teach her painting and flower arranging.”
But now, our child never even got the chance to see this world.
Vance must have remembered those words too–his pupils shrank abruptly.
He glanced instinctively toward the ravaged back garden.
His lowered face was shadowed and unreadable.
Sensing his hesitation, Lena took out a handkerchief and dabbed at her tears.
“Vance, the seer came yesterday,” she said softly. “He said my unexplained headaches were caused by a dead infant
buried in the home.”
“It was my fault. I was selfish and didn’t consider Selene’s feelings.”
“If she truly can’t let go, then… I’ll endure it a while longer.”
I didn’t hear a single word she said.
All I saw was the servant in the garden lifting a blood–red swaddling cloth from the earth.
That blinding red made my tears fall all over again.
Chapter 2
